We all have conditioned responses to things that no longer serve us, for example the last car my stepdad bought, on the sun viser there is no mirror, I know this, I keep pulling it down to check the state of my face, but no mirror, I do this once on every journey…I also run across the big space outside Freshney Place when I hear a bus rev a little, but there aint’ no bus coming, not anymore.
Point is, we all still do things that we need not anymore, like worry and panic when the situation causing the anxiety is no longer a threat but just a memory…
If we get to know ourselves better, and ask ourselves how we are feeling often, we can logically assess our emotions easier, that way we can remind them that the mirror isn’t there anymore, even if we keep looking for it, and that the bus station has moved, it has gone, even if we think we can hear it a little closer than we would like….whether our conditioned responses serve us or not, they are there, we conditioned ways of responding to certain events.
The good news is we can recondition our responses by registering them, like saying three times to ourselves ‘there is only a sun viser in this car’ or ‘the bus station has moved’ or ‘I am in my kitchen, there is no threat here, I am safe and happy’.
This sounds to simple right? Not really, creating any new behaviour is hard work, it takes persistence and desire. These simple little tricks need consistency until the new ‘response’ is registered. Unless you want to work directly with your subconscious using alpha mind states with or without a practitioner, then a top down approach from our consciousness is the best way forward.
And a top down approach takes time, it takes effort it takes re programming. Through most ideas there seems to be a chain in them all, which goes like this, acknowledge, understand, alter.
And repetition is the key.
So first we identify our moods and identify the internal dialogue which accompanies these moods. Notice if your thought pattern is your trigger.
‘Wow, I keep looking for a mirror that isn’t there’
‘I feel a bit off’
We acknowledge the feeling, the thought, the behaviour coming from these feelings and thoughts.
‘Obviously I am so used to having a mirror there’
‘What was I thinking about’
We alter them, we bring in a new frame of mind.
‘This is just a sun viser now, this is just a sun viser now, this is just a sun viser now’
‘That event was in the past, I am in a happier place now, I am in a happier place now, I am happy, I am happy, I feel happy’
If we called our living out past events in our mind self harm, would we still continue to do it? Because this is what it is. I am not saying your past should be let go, forgiven or even forgotten, but when it raises an alarm within you that stops your mind, body and spirit from functioning in the now, and poisons your body with high levels of cortisol and glucose, if it stops you being able to breathe properly or think, or digest. Then reliving old feelings when the bus cannot possibly hit you, as it is no longer on that road, then all we are doing is self harming.
I understand it is not as simple as just let it go, so acknowledge it, understand it and alter it.
The panic is over.
You can be at peace right now.