I say this to people often and it has become a great phrase of mine. ‘Letting go is the only way of holding on’, there is something I have noticed in life and that is desperation stinks. Whether your desire is new lover, a new job, a new friend or even as a child when you just wanted that cat. Cats are the ideal analogy for this, the more you beg the cat to come over, the more it casually flashes its a***hole at you.
The thing is desperation is not pretty, and that is noted by everything in this universe. I agree with visualising your goals and affirming what you want as a reality, but that desperate overthinking and worrying, has to be lost. If what we think about we bring about then all we are asking is for more of the mental state we are in, if all we can be in vibration with, is this needy obsessive feeling, then what we get back is this needy obsessive feeling, ‘what we pay attention to, we get more of’, this could not be more true when we discuss our thoughts and feelings.
So how do we just let go? Well, this is possibly one of the hardest ideals there is, and how do I do it? Well, I must admit sometimes it can take me months to fully stop being ‘desperate’ about something, but somewhere within me lies a faith that gets bored with the drama.
The thing is whether we like it or not we love a little adrenaline and do not want it easy, if we did chasing what we could not have would not be as much fun. Am I suggesting we enjoy torturing ourselves? Not entirely, I think we are just proud people who need to feel like we deserved something, that we earned something, this just gets confused in an odd structured society of today, where communities are lost and we are no longer distracted by neighbourly good doing and the sense of pride daily chores would bring. Most of us work for other people and do not harbour the same pride of completion in tasks at work because we rarely see their benefit. Everything is incomplete, we build pieces of things that go somewhere else, rarely does one man see a complete product from beginning to end to enjoy what was accomplished, and his part within that.
To gain then this little kindling of faith, we must do daily things that make us proud, make us feel deserving, we must get excited about the little things that make the big things a success. If you do not enjoy the entirety of the process, then how can you really deserve it anyway?
So instead of stinking of desperation, sorry, seeking what you desire, you have to put that goal out there and keep busy knowing it will happen. For example if I want more clientele or more contracts, then I must put that idea out there, ensure my unconscious mind is on the look out for opportunities as well as putting into action steps to get closer to this at all times, have a plan, and then get on with it, but let it go, whilst I then, truly enjoy scrubbing my outdoor stairs knowing they must be prepared for new feet.
Bring yourself into that falling in love feeling instead of that bummed out I haven’t got what I want feeling. There is nothing more attractive than a busy, happy person, who knows they can achieve, they have let go because they understand it is the only way of holding on.
And, this faith that we have, this pride in who we are gives us the comfort and ability to know, that even when we do not get what we desired, it was because it wasn’t right for us. Having a faith in your own pathway may be spiritual or religious, or just within your own abilities. From Nietzsche who believes in having faith in your super man (Ubermensch), your ultimate greatness, to Jung who believes in your god and connected identities, or whichever holy script you chose to follow. Regardless of where you have put your faith, having a belief that is larger than this moment allows a safety net of destiny, or something which drives you on, and having faith in yourself alone is possibly more powerful than all.
I have a faith in my gods, in my ancestors and within myself , I am a proud Heathen/Pagan and perhaps this can kick in and remove my desperation and impatience, but it is something I am not naturally gifted with, it is something I have taught myself to do. Something I have to remind myself by saying,
‘Hey, you, scrub those steps like it was the first day you saw them and knew they were yours, hoover your carpets like it was the first time they were laid and your excitement of dancing on them overcame you, put your key in the lock like it was the first time you ever opened that door alone and peeked inside, buying your office flowers and promising yourself that this would be the best work you have done so far in life…then letting that image go, like it is a sealed deal, and dancing on your carpet everyday like your life is wonderland.’
Call me neurotic, call me wrong. I could spend days worrying about the future or I could believe in myself and the metaphysical support around me, and if I get to my goals then great, if I get the opportunity to learn I have other goals to achieve elsewhere, this is also great, I know, only this one moment truly shapes my character.
Am I desperate or am I desirable?
You cannot be both.
Letting go is the only way of holding on…