I have noticed throughout life, whenever I have gone to do something, there has been more than a few barriers in the way. Almost as if the universe/god/gods are saying; ‘Are you sure’, you keep on, and then you get another one, ‘Are you Sure’, until you eventually decide to give up or get persistent.
I saw a quote today that reminded me of this ‘ you didn’t come this far to not keep going’, and quite right. If everything was easy there would be no triumph, no success, no glimmer of pride.
Have we lost our persistence, our ability to withstand? Or have we had it removed at such an early age we no longer have the ability to strive? Milton Erickson was a fabulous psychotherapist who would regress his clients to back to when they learnt to walk, showing them how much get up and go they had, even when they fell on their asses over and over again. They cried, and carried on. They did not give up, they persisted in a way which was so amazing, he believed showing people this side of themselves, unlocking this memory and giving them it back as a gift would help them be persistent in their life at that time, and it worked, they would have a renewed sense of patience and self love an inner drive and passion, that had quite simply been lost.
As we go through school; John Holt a once teacher and home schooling advocate would say, we learn fear more than anything else at school, we worry for being reprimanded and are taught mainly that we cannot trust ourselves. Our intuition is disabled and our own judgement is invalid. Surely in a world when we need approval for everything we may become more still.
“A child whose life is full of the threat and fear of punishment is locked into babyhood. There is no way for him to grow up, to learn to take responsibility for his life and acts. Most important of all, we should not assume that having to yield to the threat of our superior force is good for the child’s character. It is never good for anyone’s character.”
Why do we not persist? In life there are always what we deem as huge barriers in the way, when in fact they are not curve balls or hurdles, it is not a thorn in your side as you are to believe, but the lessons of growing up and adaption you had not learnt as a child, I am sure many of you were given lessons of heartache, this is not what I mean. Many of us where never given the opportunity to learn for ourselves, who we are and what we are capable of.
We were told our character in our report card, we were given our strengths in stars, we were lead to believe our value on whether or not we were better than those in our class. We were labelled and boxed and never once had we labelled and boxed ourselves.
When we walk out into the world deciding to start something new, be something else we are testing parts of our character we have never had to use before, because we have no trust in ourselves, we question, we wait, we dither, we procrastinate, we take bad advice and we get stressed and we see every barrier or natural complication in achieving goals a sign that we are to stay away or get stronger.
When all we have to do is learn something new about ourselves, nobody is up there kicking our ass to shape our character, there is no force above or around telling us we should quit, it is natural living that shows us who we are and what we are.
I think the thorn in our side is a beautiful natural resistance of movement, Nothing can go anywhere without having something to push against. To grow you have to stretch, and it can sometimes hurt, it is just that you would have bounced back quicker as a child than an adult, this is all, and this is when we should have learnt to bounce back, when you were more flexible.
A Cheetah will wonder the wild and whilst hunting only feed in one out of ten ventures, she does not lay down and die, she knows that failure is her life more than success, in fact she knows nothing of failure or success, there is just, life as she knows it, there is no opportunity for failure to become an option. In our world we are taught to fail. She knows that trying to achieve something is a part of her life. And every time she fails she tries harder, her hunger and her need to fill the bellies of her young makes her stronger, faster, more alert, even though she has no subsistence, only lack, she just keeps going.
So do not give up my friend. Your persistence is your natural strength. Something you had long, long ago and something you have forgotten to use, this is all. You were taught to fear yourself instead of free yourself.
So, this new adventure you are on, do you really want it? Because it is you that decides if you give in or carry on. This world will give you an abundance of opportunities to forget the dream.
Please do not take this small sharing of my views as a godless one, I have faith I am being cheered on from my many gods and ancestors, however I believe their is an opposing force within our schooling system and many of our societal systems which restricts our growth and stops us meeting our full potential, as we become adults the fear to stand out, and the procrastination that comes with such a daring act, leaves many of us starless children feeling like everyone else is better than us, and we stop moving.
Fear is a liar though, and those barriers are not as big and scary as you think, just keep breathing, just keep standing back up and soon those barriers can be viewed as exactly what they are. A few complications that need a little refocus of your attention.
Knowing yourself is vital to succeeding as yourself, as a child you knew how you balanced, you knew which legs had strength and which one tumbled you over, you knew which hand had a better grip and how to keep one leg straight like solid steal whilst the other was allowed to flow. You studied yourself and moved yourself in your environment.
Many of babies could have been brought into your living room and struggled on your carpet, been resistant at your chair, he had been given a different living room to learn to walk in, very different to yours in feel, shape and size, but it did not stop him walking in yours, he just knew his strengths and evaluated them in accordance with his new environment, everywhere he went for months, maybe even a year he would weigh up everything and and then apply himself to it.
Learning is life long and you have to learn to understand your strengths, your weaknesses, at every stage before you carry on, or you may just fall on your ass trying to run before you can walk and call it a reason to quit 😉
Of course I have just highlighted here that you should just stop being scared and live your life, this is easier said than done. Please look through my other titles as I have lots of practical tips to make getting on with it easier 🙂