I had been doing a gratitude list and yesterday I put on the list.
I am very grateful that today I restored my faith in my finances and paid full for my son on the bus.
You see when my son turned five and I went to pay full a lovely bus driver winked and said shhhh and so I only paid for me. My son was not a big lad and did not take up huge room and did not look five, so the driver was being kind. However, I wanted to say, no, no, I will pay. But I was not wanting to be ungrateful or bring attention to his kind but naughty deed in front of others.
Because of this, I convinced myself it was okay and for a week or so, I did not pay for him. But it niggled at me, because my base belief is that if you steal from the universe/gods, the universe/gods will see this as you saying ‘I have a lack of resources and struggle’ and the universe always gives you what you believe you are, so it will just send me more lack. Since opening my own business I have had a concern for money i had never really bothered about before. I had faith I would have a roof over my head, as I mostly always have. I have mostly always been fed, although I have had times where I have lived in hostels and not had from the ages of 16-18, since having my first flat at 18 I have always been homed and fed.
I have this understanding, this feeling of safety, that I will be okay, and I will always have enough. Not paying your sons bus fair contradicts all of this, so yesterday I paid and apologised to the universe/gods for my lack of faith, and for not being just/good with my gods.
However today I ‘transferred this feeling of not enough and lack of faith into a new bus journey trauma. Sometimes my son decides he needs a pee when we are on the bus, i get cross because if we have to get off and get back on, I have to pay for us all twice, which is okay if I a weekly pass, but you cannot get weekly passes for little people, so it means i would have to pay for him twice to do the same journey, and bless him it is a long one to the beach. So before we go I am saying, go for a wee please, he says ‘I do not need a wee’, i am like ‘you will try’, poor little man is dressed for the beach in January and has on pants, long johns, jeans, vest, t-shirt, jumper, coat, scarf and gloves and his know it all, lack of faith mum who is worrying about money, but thought the day before she had restored this faith (when she had just transferred it), making him go to the loo, poor thing, and he did not wee, because he did not need a wee. I just unnecessarily stressed him out.
When we sat on the bus all wrapped up for the freezing beach, I realised I had not restored my faith that I would have enough, but that I was still worried about it, and feeling a lack.
I have never had a business before and extra monthly outgoings and not enough clients to pay the bills, this is all very new to me, but whatever does happen, I know that my love for our minds, how we work, and our behaviours absolutely fascinate me, and if the shit hits the fan and I do not pull of this coaching career, that what I love is observing our behaviours and realigning them.
This is what is important, that I actually love what I do, and in this I have found a little renewed faith that everything will work out fine, because I have lots of good energy going into what I love and that counts a lot to the universe/gods and myself.
You see, we just transfer things constantly, this is why the best way of beating an old behaviour is creating a new one, that fits the same emotional charge, therefore the chemistry that is brought about doing one thing, can be matched for another, and a physical/mental harmony is born.
This is exactly how, changing likes to dislikes in NLP works, they take one thing, and give it the emotional charge of another and a neurological exchange occurred, we just transferred an emotional charge.
We do this all day, everyday whether it is called psychology, NLP, psychotherapy or neuroplasticity. We CAN take control of this, and we can play with our minds freely and enjoy the results.
We are all so scared of our brains, when in reality, we programme them, train them, maintain the shitty wiring of them as well as rewire them everyday into negativity, depression, defeat, anger, worry and lack of self/universal/gods faith. We all have faith in something, and we all lack faith in hundreds of things.
Play with your brain. Think before you think. Do not fear the miraculous mind, embrace it.
It may even pay the bills hahaha!
We will see…was that humour and doubt a lack of self faith and the beginning of a transference? 😉
Love what you do!