Drive With No Destination

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I once advised a client to drive with no destination for an hour of time out for herself, and just see what happened, be open to where she would end up and what she would do. I told her that ‘driving’ in her world; meant ‘going somewhere to do something’ and that she should cleanse her car out, and give it a healthier emotional imprint, by just going somewhere undecided, and before I had finished talking, I noticed she was already planning where she would go.

How bizarre a notion it is to most of us, to not actually KNOW, what we are going to do. I must confess though, not to me, I am very spontaneous, unplanned and unless I am at work, then I could be anywhere doing anything. As I gather my children and stuff, walking out the door, my partner will say, ‘where are you going’, and I often reply ‘not sure yet’, he says, ‘you must know where you are going’, I say ‘a few ideas, see you later’, with a big smile, or chastising glance, depending of course on how I am judging him at that time for being a helpful partner (we forever compete with the one we chose to love, for who has the rawest deal, who is doing the most, and whoever gets to chill out for an hour, is the one that gets chastised, big, tut us, for our silly ways).
Back to the point, I often have no idea what I am going to do, I never charge my phone and I just do what we all fancy (we, as in me and the babies, 5 and 6, still call them babies- note to self, do I have issues with them growing up? lol )

This to me is normal and toΒ  those around me it is irritating, my partner wants to know if he should cook tea, my mum wants to be able to reach me, I just want to be free. However, I do try my best to charge my phone and give some rough idea when we will be home, because I understand people worry, however, I KNOW that fifty years ago it would have been tough crockers, because I would not have a phone or internet following me everywhere. My mum will often say- it could be a client, or a work thing, and it may well be, but all of my sites say I will get back to you in 24 hours, because I may well be trekking the woods with a giant backpack and my little tribe.

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We live in a world where everyone knows what you are up to, and when you will be up to something else, you can sign in here, or there at social media, but the beach and the woods do not have sign ins, and that is where I like to be. Although I do often post my pictures, I adore taking pictures of my cute little humans in beautiful scenery, and where I live it is abundant with beauty- if you look for it, some would say the opposite, I say, what you pay attention to, you get more of!Β  πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

Did I wonder off again? I am good at that.

The thing is, most of my clients are managers or small business owners and they rarely have moments where they just do something unstructured, especially the mums, they have school runs, work, people to manage, orders to complete, pick ups for stock or whatever, another school run, nurseries or child minders, staff issues, more staff issues, some of my clients do their own accounts as well as run every single thing in their business, and they wonder why they feel a bit stressed! Hail those bad asses!

So, when people get in their cars, employers and employees alike, the fact is we are all rushed off our feet and always have something to do, somewhere to go, not a journey to take. So I profess that whether you do, or do not drive, that every once in a while that you walk out the door and not know where you are going, and this is why:

Your brain gets to take in the feeling of not having associated feelings.

I will say that again:
Your brain gets to take in the feeling of not having associated feelings.

Your brain, gets to do something without worrying about what it has done before. Every time you get in your car, or bounce out on your feet, or wait at the bus stop you have a million dreads that you are unaware of, the traffic, waiting for the bus, missing the bus, crossing hefty traffic laden roads. Everything that we do, the MOMENT that we DECIDE we are doing it, we get overwhelmed with all of the difficulties we have faced before, that may just be a difficulty again today. I hope this makes sense.

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So going out without knowing where you are going, gives the ‘anticipation of the worst’, a few hours off. Of course, as you start heading somewhere your brain will automatically let you know/feel whether that place is hard/easy to get to, and surmise the obstacles in your way,Β  but when you are directionless, and without a massive ‘to do’ stamped on your actions, the pressure of traffic, waiting times, blah, blah, is off.

So take yourself out for a little time off. Let yourself be as ‘association free’ as you can be, because our brains are little buckets of experience, that match old experiences with the moment at ALL times, the past continuingly blinding the present, so we deserve to have a break from the world of ‘what if’, on an EMOTIONAL level, because most of these what ifs, are a bunch of sighs unarticulated by thoughts, they are FEELINGS, that have been going on for a long time. Taking a little time out, without pressure is like resetting a system, turning the PC on and off, just giving yourself a bigger breather.

Alternatively for me, I will do the opposite and let those around me have a breather instead by answering my phone and telling them my plans.



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