Intellectual Self- Harm is the term I have started to use when discussing our internal dialogue, our self talk, our inner bullying. Because this is what it is, and no matter how much you think your thoughts cannot harm you, after-all;
Sticks and stones may brake my bones but words can never harm me.
I want you to sit down with a piece of paper when you have time and write as many shitty horrid words on it as you can muster, try real hard not to sigh as you do it, try real hard to not let those words sink into your very being, because it will not happen, because they will seep into you, like ink on blotting paper, they will sink deep into your very being, and you will feel them.
Did you know that your thoughts bully you?
Have you ever listened in on the stories you tell yourself, of the predictions of misery you create, of how you misuse the gift of your imagination to torture yourself?
I suggest you get familiar with listening into that voice, and what it says, and before you think, voices in my head, yes, we all have thoughts. Most of us have pretty negative thoughts, that pull us down before we attempt anything.
How then, is this self harm?
Because you create stress, you induce fear, you keep yourself in a cycle of fight, flight or freeze and are unable to rest and digest, unable to heal, you get ill, you go through one cold or infection after another, you feel like shit, you pull yourself back up, with all the strength you can muster and you carry on, you just keep going.
The thing is, the more we keep getting stressed, the more we keep getting ill, the more we eventually damage our central nervous system.
You mean that shit literally gets on my nerves?
Yes it does, and then it literally ‘burns you out’ as you become inflamed, here and there with infections, then you literally withdraw. As you begin to get so fed up with everything, because it is all so stressful and so hard, your brain starts ‘synaptic pruning’, giving your neurons a haircut, your nerve endings retract, they pull away, ‘burn out’, they no longer want to sense or ‘feel’ things, they want to hide. Your telomeres, the protection at the end of your DNA, shorten. They can no longer protect you, and can cause chronic illnesses within your body.
‘You will worry yourself to death’
‘You will make yourself ill with all that worry’
There seems to be a myth that stressing out is a solution, I hear people say,
‘Man, I was proper stressing’ or ‘I will get well stressed, I know I will’ or ‘He is just a stress head’ as they laugh, like stressing out is the final result, that it is just an action, that it is the worst thing that can happen.
Shit gets on my nerves, and I will get stressed out, the end.
It is the beginning, it is the beginning of the end, and the more stressed you get, the more at risk you are of becoming ill.
Why am I talking about stress, when I started talking about your bully thoughts?
Whenever you felt bullied, did it stress you out?
What you think, you feel, when you say words in your head, they are suggestive, do the activity with words later, or repeat over and over again, ‘I feel stressed and sick’…
You will soon agree that the words in your head are suggestive to your feelings, and your feelings are suggestive to your actions and responses, to whether or not you get stressed repeatedly.
Your health and wellbeing is at risk when you constantly make yourself feel like crap, when you intellectually self harm, you put yourself in danger.
Now, I beg you, please do not stress out about what you are thinking right now, the last thing we need is you thinking about stressing yourself to death, that totally defeats me telling you this, and it is also your bully leaving through the front door and coming in through the back door to kick your ass, whilst you were not looking, nobody can change their thought patterns immediately, and stressing over it, is stupid.
What you can do is UNDERSTAND now, that you can listen in, that you can choose to think of better thoughts, that you can focus on beautiful things, that you can write out affirmations and nice words to change your inner dictionary.
It is like gaming, when you played tetris as a kid, tetris was flashing in front of your eyeballs before you fell asleep, what you put in your brain stays, so just put newer, nicer stuff in it. It will take time, but it will transform your entire life and wellbeing.
I have linked a video below of what happens to a bullied plant, this experiment goes on the idea that water has memory and is taken from the understandings and experiments of a man called Masaru Emoto.
As you are mostly water, and your lymphatic system, which is pretty much your body guard, carries almost 95% water.
Think Well, Be Well.
Hmmm, ‘WELL’ means a holding of water…coincidence?
I think not…
and your thoughts could not be wishes, surely…
Are you a wishing well?
‘wish me love, a wishing well, kiss and tell, a wishing well of butterfly tear’.
You singing wishing well in your head yet? just trying to pop in another suggestion, that your body and mind is easily influenced by words.
Be kind to your mind and practice better feeling thoughts and mindfulness techniques, let your creative side out or walk within nature paying attention to the beauty that surrounds you. When you catch yourself Intellectually Self Harming, say, I understand that my mind can worry about the past and the future, but right now, we are going to feel grateful for what we can be, in this moment.
Read lots of self help books, and articles on maintaining positive outlooks, find relaxation techniques you like, only apply to your life what you liked the thought of, and dismiss what you did not.
Us positive professionals are just people too, and if you think something we said was horse shit, ignore it, take what you like, from where you like and create a self care plan that IS ALL ABOUT YOU!
I have a feeling that you may take some of this on board and sit down and write out a whole bunch of nice words, to raise yourself up, to fill your spirit.
I can feel it in my ‘waters’…
Many a saying has its ‘roots’ in the ground, we just stopped ‘soaking’ up the simple wisdom.
As, I always say, and now you know why;
BE WELL ❤ YOU ARE MAGICAL ❤