I went with my son today to help him enrol for college, and as I did so I noticed the language of others, like I do most anywhere, but particularly here I found it miraculous that when enrolling students staff are not taught about suggestive language.
Of course my job is to pick up on language first and foremost, so I can gauge where a persons confidence is, for example, one girl we sat with today, filling in a form used humour on eight different occasions to bring herself down, personally and professionally by highlight her inadequacy and discuss with us all how ‘rubbish’ she was, whilst rolling her eyes and laughing. When she was quite efficient, and I understand we all do this, to break the ice and humour is a brilliant aid for doing this, and poking fun at ourselves is even better, because people immediately warm to us. The fact the girl did it so often showed me that she had low self esteem, although she was a pretty girl, with a beautiful smile and was very good at her job.
What however made me want to write this piece was that they all unknowingly encouraged the nerves that students feel on beginning new courses, during a five minute conversation, the word anxious and anxiety was said over nine times, then during another discussion that last under two minutes, when discussing the course to go for, I had mentioned that my son may be bored if he covered old ground and may find it frustrating if he was learning what he already knew and yearning for more depth within the subject, the word frustrated was taken and highlighted repeatedly, twice in every sentence. I am sure the girl was unaware of this, and again she was lovely, and every staff member was lovely that we spoke to, very friendly, informative and knowledgeable in their areas.
However, when we repeat over and over the same word we find that we encourage that behaviour.
Instead of instilling the belief in students that everyone gets nervous and anxious and everyone will be looking at each other and feel anxiety, and that it will be perfectly normal to feel this anxiety, because you will be just like everyone else, a bit anxious. So it happens to all of us, we all get anxious on our first day.
Now bare in mind, what I have discussed in past articles about how PSBPS (psychological support based on positive suggestion) has shown to even lower fatalities, the length of stay in hospitals and overall recovery times, when ambulance staff have been briefed to use a suggestive script with their patients. Doctors who have used PSBPS have found that people have recovered quickly after huge operations, when they were lead to believe that their recovery would be quick, by using scripts and leading questions, and progressing language patterns.
When I ask your name, I say is your name? you say yes.
Are you such and such an age? yes.
Do you live at so and so? yes.
are you having this operation? yes.
are you going to recover well? yes.
Because we said so many question requiring a firm head nod and yes, this put the patient into a state of certainty, then we continue to ask the question are you going to recover well, and yes, they automatically answer in the same way as the other questions, and with the same certainty, and YES this has been proven to lessen the average recovery time by days, for the first set of healing and weeks for the second and so on.
I wonder how students would behave on their first day if they were told;
~On your first day with us, we find normally everyone here relaxes after about the first half an hour, all managing to find their way around quickly and there are lots of helpful staff you can ask who are happy to be at your service, they are normally wearing blue tops and smiling, looking very at ease and relaxed. When you enter your own class you will find many other like minded people who are interested in learning about your chosen subject, so you should all get comfy together pretty soon. It will be a great first day where you will settle in well and we will be there with you, to support you. All you have to do is turn up, get yourself settled and then we can get on with an enjoyable day which will set in stone a valuable year ahead~
These ‘scripts are written and used in theatre during operations, are used for consultant communications, and used by managers when communicating ‘ideas’ to their team, that they want accepted. Many people are aware of the ‘structure of magic: Language and therapy’ and use this to suggest to people easily and effortlessly daily.
Some research was undertaken in which some people had to deliver messages to other people, only when they got to the person to give them the message, that person was busy talking to someone else, dependant on whether the messenger had been ‘scripted’ and ‘suggested’ to deliver the message patiently or abruptly, would be whether or not they butted into the conversation or waited, the only deciding factor on their behaviour in that moment, was not their personality, the character and morals, but whether they had been told to do their task with positive suggestions of patience or negative suggestions of abruptness, this was what was dependant on whether they were rude or polite.
What we say matters, what we think constantly matters even more!!!