Halloween means so much more to me than candy, and it is perhaps my most spiritual and self reflecting time of the year.
Many, many, many, moons ago our ancestors would have brought out the bones of their dead and sat them at the best seat of the table, they would have celebrated their hard work and harvested crops and thanked the gods and goddesses for the fruits of their labour.
The knock on the neighbous door thing came from us sharing our harvest with those in our communities who had suffered from ill crops that year, and who had not enough to see them through the winter. We would all give a share of our crops to help, as they would of us if our crops failed.
So the thread of today’s Halloween, of the skeletons, celebration and sharing of foods still lingers in our inherited blood.
For this I am thankful, I only wish that thankful itself was still a major ingredient to this time of year.
As my mind looks to our ancestors at this time of year, and the idea of what we reap we sow, and if we did not manage to sow, why?
As many of us work the land of others and pay tokens for our feed, instead of preserving our own crops at this time of year and then resting as we should, many of us still slog for someone else’s dreams.
I see this as a kind of new year, but perhaps not in the same way as some others celebrating Samhain/ Halloween.
I feel that we live in a metaphysical and physical world, that one has a time schedule, the other does not. In this physical world we have had an entire year since last harvest time, and since our last harvest, what have we created?
Some of us may have physically sowed seeds and harvested many foods, I myself only collected berries from our bushes, and beans from a previous grow. This year we did not plant as we prioritised our time into other areas.
I see this harvest time as one of a personal nature, what seeds did I plant within me last year?
I had my own office, and wanted to see it grow, to help more people and have full group sessions. I wanted to get more work out online as I felt the overall message I want to share of being well, of self reliance, self happiness, self care and how to attain it was not reaching people who can not access a personal coach. I wanted to get on with writing more and enjoying putting my book together. I wanted to blog weekly. I wanted to complete more learning, read more books and have a good understanding of many self development approaches. I wanted to coach better, listen well and understand the needs of every client efficiently and help them meet their goals with pride and great energy. I wanted to become comfortable as a ‘professional’.
I wanted to have more structure at home and create an environment where myself and my children all had areas to create in, and to ensure that their learning was fun and well directed. I wanted to get along well with my partner and remain his best friend. I wanted to see my son gain his qualifications that would bring him closer to getting to do the university degree of his choice. I wanted a happy home, and it to be redecorated since the children were growing up and less likely to draw all over the walls, I wanted our home to look like we had a 17, 6 and 5 year old, not that we still had two toddler, a teenager and no organisation lol
I wanted to be nicer, when I first began changing I would actively help anyone I could whenever I could, you know when you want to do something, but that little bystander in you tells you to stay still, I practiced ignoring her. I would help people with their shopping to the car, I would just allow myself to be available for opportunities to care for others. This may sound silly, but we are often busy and so wrapped up in our own world, we do not see anyone else’s. Time and time again research has shown us when we have a larger to do list, we will even walk past people who are in urgent need of medical care. We walk straight past, sometimes aware of their need, but so pressed for time and so scared we will disappoint the people in our immediate life, that we will ignore a dying man on the street. Unfortunately this is true, and unless we create a space within us, that wants to be helpful, and is aware to do good deeds, it may be in too much of a rush to care. Whilst my little people where much littler, I was exhausted, i was tandem feeding two babies and as much as I love being a mum, sometimes its demanding and tough and you end up a little woe is me, and the last thing on my mind was random acts of kindness for others. So, I wanted to get back in the habit of being nice.
I gave up my office as I had a few problems with accessing the archway. Past clients will understand fully how the archway design was difficult dues to others parking and littering, making getting through not very desirable and my clients deserve to feel comfortable during their entire experience with me, and that starts before they even walk through the door. My grand idea of selling out groups did not fruit, I am a little sad about this, but believe it is not my highest priority or I would have ensured a success of them and found a new way of hosting them, without my own group room. I have been blogging weekly, sometimes more and have a great set up for my book, the chapters are organised although my writing is a bit erratic and needs some good editing. My dyslexia often sends my writing in opposing waves, but I am getting better. I have been completing more online learning, reading constantly, and the best I am finally understanding many things I have previously learnt. I find it often takes me a while before i understand something well, i can read and re-read, but it is like I need to format things in my own language before they settle home. My coaching style is getting much better and I am finally becoming a ‘kind of’ professional, I still swear when I shouldn’t and get over excited or interpret things wrongly. But my compassion and willingness for the person with me to do well outshines this.
I now have a desk at home, which is all set up to soon go live, just having to up my tech game first lol This is definitely meeting my main goal of sharing the information i have on creating a a feeling of wellness. My home is looking better, my children are happy and we all have a space to call our own. As well as mums big desk to share. We all gather together to do tasks and we all separate to do our own stuff. We have a nice environment in which we can all thrive, which I may have over prettied, in my own unique way. Everything is getting Mandala’d. My partner is creating a space for himself to begin making Jewelry, only a very small station, but something to start him off. My home is still cluttered, but flows nicely now.
My aim to be nicer is well, nicer. It feels good to serve others, this is one of the best feelings we can have, to serve our kin.
All in all, I mostly reaped what I sowed. But have to remember that my intentions in this world are often supported or not, out of this world, and regardless of what I think I want, I am always being subconsciously pulled towards what I really want, even if I am not conscious of what that may be.
Within my practical rational goal list, having a set up for going live and creating more online content was not my biggest aim, or so I thought. Yet I sit here with a spotlight, a camera, a pretty decent mic and so fourth. What I do not yet have though, is the ability to use it all well haha…this is my new goal.
Without desires for who we want to be, we continue to be the same. Without goals and dreams we go with the flow instead of make waves. Even if your goal is as generic as mine was and still is,
‘To help people grow into their own way of happiness and support themselves in living well’
I may have gone in many directions that I thought would create this opportunity but as much as I do not like the idea of being on camera, as I am not at all the attention seeking type (apologies for stereotyping people, tut, tut). I do want to share how I healed my mental health and created a great strong lasting mind set that has freed my soul, and it works for others too, I have seen it in action.
Whatever it is that you want to sow, this time of year allows us to be so grateful that we did. And also highlights to us that we can now settle in our new found self before we decide what we will sow next year. What worked well, what didn’t, what is all weather resistant, and what is weak?
What did you learn about yourself through the challenges of this last year that you should be proud of, and what should you improve, and most importantly, have you been nice enough, that if you did not reap a harvest would your neighbours share theirs with you?
Did you look to the magic around you and thank someone for it, miracles are abundant and something is responsible, somewhere…
May you all enjoy your harvest and take rest before you sow another year. The spiders and webs that we see at Halloween remind us that we weave a reality, and that the oghan was one of the first scripts. A written word named and inspired from a spiders web, letting us know the power of words, that what we say, we think, we write, we ‘spell’…
Happy Halloween, may your Harvest reflect your Dream.